Creationism - 0, Evolution 990,874,983,456

Mark another point for evolution. A new ape fossil found in Spain is said to bridge the evolutionary gap. Be sure to read the article to get the intricacies of the find, and not just the headlines.

By the way, just because the song goes, "Jesus loves me, yes I know / 'Cause the Bible tells me so," doesn't mean that the rest of the bullshit in it is true. Oh, and that everyone else thinks you're an asshole.

The subtleties of email communication

This video Ze Frank is simply hilarious. Thanks BoingBoing.

The Jesusification of America

It appears to have really taken off in the 50's. First was the forcible insertion of religion into the pledge by the Knights of Columbus and McCarthyism in 1954. Then, in 1955, the term, In God We Trust, became part of all printed money, and became our National Motto in 1956. All of this seems like it was a response to godless communism, and a cultural way for Americans to fight against the USSR during the cold war.

Now, it seems like the Jesusification is continuing, culminated most recently with this Rock Tour.

Far be it from me to say that Roy Moore, is an idiot and flagrant violator of the law, but isn't it strange that groups that call themselves "Battle for the Bible" and "American Veterans in Domestic Defense" would haul around what is essentially a huge chunk of evidence that shows that what they want to do is illegal?

Are we going to see a countrywide tour to elementary schools of the weapons that were used in the beltway sniper crimes?

"Here, Timmy. Touch the gun that caused the east coast to shut down for a few weeks. See? Doesn't that make you feel powerful? Good. I'm glad we could bring this to you, and your school. Now go tell your teacher we're ready for the kindergarteners."

Meanwhile, I'm going to continue crossing out the word God on my money, and having premarital sex with other men while simultaneously providing abortions to teenagers who will be forced to watch the tape of Janet Jackson exposing herself at the Superbowl.

wokka wokka

This time I get to BE pac man.\ That's pretty cool.

Idiot Pharmacists

Look, I don't let my dog out to shit on your lawn, so don't let your god out of the church to shit on my access to birth control.

Look people- if you hate abortion, don't have one. I hate religion, so I don't ascribe to one. There was a time that I would say that I would fight to the death for your right to have a hateful god guiding your idiotic principles. I'm not so sure anymore. Having you wiped out by Darwin's theory of evolution would be poetic.

Vibrators

Those who know me know I champion sexual freedom, and the right of consenting adults to do anything to each other that they please. Because of this, I have become accustomed to regularly directing friends and readers to sites like Good Vibrations and The Honeysuckle Shop. (both sites are marginally NOT work safe, mostly because our country is run by prudes)

But this is going just a bit too far. The *ahem* meatiest part of the story is buried after the ads in an article that bears the headline, "Beckham to become UN ambassador."

Sticking with the lighter side

This is one of those people that bought a bridge in manhattan last week too...

Oh Canada...

Wow, Bush won? [whistling nonchalantly]

Sorry, The Mal

Alberto Gonzales to succeed Ashcroft.

The 8th Amendment weeps.

No Tinfoil Hat Needed

In the previous post I accused the Idiot King/Douche administration of purposefully misrepresenting the threat of terrorism to get people to vote for them. Clearly, I was wrong. As John Ashcroft has stated in his resignation letter:

The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved.

Thank goodness! This whole time John Ashcroft was taking care of everything, and making sure that we were safe. And he acheived his goal! No more crime! No more terror! I wholeheartedly apologize for not blindy following goosestep.... I mean, lockstep, with everyone else. The Justice Deapartment may not have technically convicted anyone of terrorism yet, but I'm sure the convictions will be forthcoming. Otherwise, why would the US government have allowed the widesweeping and unlawful detainment of anyone darker than, and ideologically to the left of, the late, great, Strom Thurmond?

Dear Red America,

You can now take the wool off that was pulled over your eyes. Remember when you were scared that Osama bin Hussein was going to bomb your church picnic in Bumblefuck, Nowhere, because the threat level kept going to orange? Well, now the easily most identifiable target, the White House, has removed the blockades that used to surround it. What does this mean? Okay, mouth-breathers, I'll make it simple. The Idiot King used fear to make you vote for him. Now he has shown that it was all lies, essentially shitting in your corn flakes. They may have called it a beautification process, but isn't it convinient that now that the Idiot King has sealed 4 more years, he doesn't need to scare you anymore. You are stupid, and you were duped.

Heart,

Blue America

P.S. Who has my tinfoil hat?

And now for something compleeeetely different...

Bling, fucking bling. Wanna $65k pair of shoes? I don't know whether to be amused or disgusted...

Yikes!

Even I don't have this much anger:

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

It goes on for quite a bit.

Props to TBogg for the find.

Rage Against the Machine

Never has the music of Rage Against the Machine ever been more appropriate:

So called facts are fraud
They want us to allege and pledge
And bow down to their God
Lost the culture, the culture lost
Spun our minds and through time
Ignorance has taken over
Yo, we gotta take the power back!
Bam! Here's the plan
Motherfuck Uncle Sam
Step back, I know who I am
Raise up your ear, I'll drop the style and clear
It's the beats and the lyrics they fear
The rage is relentless
We need a movement with a quickness
You are the witness of change
And to counteract
We gotta take the power back

There’s more:

Just shackle your minds when you’re bent on the cross!
When ignorance reigns, life is lost, lost!

Why stand on a silent platform?
Fight the war, fuck the norm

The Dumb Have Spoken

This is interesting. The states that voted for Kerry are smarter than the states that voted for Bush.

Here's the average IQ by state according to the Ravens APM (borrowed from the 2000 Electoral IQ comparison):

AVG IQ '04 Electoral
(1) Connecticut..................113 Kerry
(2) Massachusetts............111 Kerry
(3) New Jersey.................111 Kerry
(4) New York....................109 Kerry
(5) Rhode Island...............107 Kerry
(6) Hawaii..........................106 Kerry
(7) Maryland.....................105 Kerry
(8) New Hampshire..........105 Kerry
(9) Illinois...........................104 Kerry
(10) Delaware....................103 Kerry
(11) Minnesota...................102 Kerry
(12) Vermont.....................102 Kerry
(13) Washington................102 Kerry
(14) California....................101 Kerry
(15) Pennsylvania..............101 Kerry
(16) Maine..........................100 Kerry
(17) Virginia.......................100 Bush
(18) Wisconsin...................100 Kerry
(19) Colorado......................99 Bush
(20) Iowa............................99 Bush
(21) Michigan.....................99 Kerry
(22) Nevada........................99 Bush
(23) Ohio.............................99 Bush
(24) Oregon........................99 Kerry
(25) Alaska.........................98 Bush
(26) Florida........................98 Bush
(27) Missouri.......................98 Bush
(28) Kansas.........................96 Bush
(29) Nebraska.....................95 Bush
(30) Arizona........................94 Bush
(31) Indiana........................94 Bush
(32) Tennessee...................94 Bush
(33) North Carolina............93 Bush
(34) West Virginia...............93 Bush
(35) Arkansas......................92 Bush
(36) Georgia.........................92 Bush
(37) Kentucky......................92 Bush
(38) New Mexico.................92 Bush
(39) North Dakota...............92 Bush
(40) Texas............................92 Bush
(41) Alabama........................90 Bush
(42) Louisiana......................90 Bush
(43) Montana.......................90 Bush
(44) Oklahoma.....................90 Bush
(45) South Dakota................90 Bush
(46) South Carolina..............89 Bush
(47) Wyoming.......................89 Bush
(48) Idaho.............................87 Bush
(49) Utah...............................87 Bush
(50) Mississippi....................85 Bush

This is all just for fun of course, because the, “statistics are now perhaps a decade old, but were apparently the only numbers available to the original compiler when the results of the '00 election became available” Also, a huge hat tip goes to Jack at The Dark Years for doing all of the original legwork for the idea and 2004 info.

But seriously, the people who voted for Bush are idiots.

Optimism from a suicidally depressed person

This is incredibly depressing. I haven't done any work in three days. I don't sleep very well, and I eat just because I know I probably should.

I also am stunned. I also am heavily inclined to lay down and die to avoid the embarassment of the next four years. But then, every once in a while, I am wrong about a few things. I have predicted, and still fear, incredible tragedy as a result of the current regime (which will get worse now that it feels it has a mandate, and the "adults" are going to leave -- bye Colin Powell. Why couldn't you have run in 2000?). If anything though, when the disaster befalls, this place is going to need us to help pick up the pieces. I would be lying if I said I hadn't looked into canadian citizenship, or australian citizenship, but there is also the possibility, however slim, that I am wrong and that things will work out. Again, they are likely to need the voice of the 48% of us losers to make sure that any such possibility is realized.

Coming from me that's pretty strong stuff: I didn't like high school so I left... three times. I didn't like the college I was in, so I transferred. I didn't like my first two jobs, so I left each of them. I don't like where my country is going, but I'm probably staying, because I can do more good in my suffering than I can in fleeing.

I'm amused by all the talk of "healing." Coming from a guy whose entire campaign was about attacking the other guy and scaring the shit out of people, and usually immediately preceding a suggestion that it's the other side's job to make concessions, this promises to be a historic debacle.

We're Fucked

So what now? Am I supposed to sit back and take my medicine and be complacent? Does this somehow prove me wrong? The infinite string of lies, fuck-ups, cronyism, and bullshit have been documented to level that's absurd. Now we have to document 4 more years? And what for? So I can tell my children the shameful things the president did while he was in office? We impeached a man for oral sex, but we let the idiot king coast on through with the blood of thousands on his hands. I have no respect for those of you who voted for him. None. You are bigots, racists, imbeciles, and you are the ones who hate what America stands for. Normally I'd stay and fight, but what's the point of living in a house with a bunch of people who shit on everything, then tell you it's your fault, and you know you're going to have to clean it up in four years. I'm moving next door, or down the street. Fuck this shit. I'm gone.

Zombies

Here's what's taking my mind off the possibility of vomiting with rage later today/this week:

Land of the Dead

You are a national treasure, Mr. Romero.

Non-voters

I was just speaking to someone who was going over their schedule for tomorrow. When I jokingly told them to leave time to vote I was informed that they had never registered to vote. Why? Because they didn't want to serve jury duty.

You can't imagine the rage that I had to control to not leap across the desk and beat them to death with my shoe.

Denying yourself the opportunity to participate in our most civic duty so you don't have to participate in another civic duty is assinine, idiotic, and repugnantly selfish.

I need a drink.